


A Journey of a Thousand Miles Starts with One Step

by dieForgotten



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Fluff, M/M, Psychoanalysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 03:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17573081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dieForgotten/pseuds/dieForgotten
Summary: This is based on a prompt by lego-batjokes-prompts on Tumblr:"Bruce emotionally blocks himself by taking Dick on dates with him and Joker. He's terrified of intimacy, but when Dick finds out what his Padre is doing, he refuses to go anymore. Now what?"Rated T for semi-graphic analogies made by the characters.





	A Journey of a Thousand Miles Starts with One Step

"So where's BabyBird tonight?" The Joker, stepping briskly, seems oblivious to the inner turmoil of his date. "It's awfully quiet without him."  
  
"That's," the Bat sighs shakily. "That's sort of why I always brought him along."  
  
"Oh? You scared to talk now that we aren't talkin smack?"  
  
"No, I'm just scared that... I'm not scared!"  
  
"Geez, no need to get so defensive, Bats. You can talk to me. Remember our deal? Nothing said or done here carries over into our work. I'm safe for you right now." The clown quirks his mouth up in a sympathetic smile.  
  
"I don't really like getting close to people, right?"  
  
"I believe that's been heavily established, yes, but you've made huge strides! Take us for example. We're actually getting out as a pair!"  
  
"Of bros!" he cuts in panickedly, before clapping a hand over his mouth.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sorry... I'm still not used to the whole deal. The 'pair' thing is still a bit much."  
  
"Bats. Batsy. Battycakes. Any of those bother you?"  
  
"No, they're nice. Don't tell anyone I said that, though."  
  
"You don't have any nicknames for me though, and the farthest you can go is calling us 'us'. If you're not comfortable in this sort of deal with me, you can say so." Joker looks down as he finishes, clearly putting on a strong poker face.  
  
"Joker! It's not that I'm uncomfortable with you, I just can't... express myself about it. About my emotions. It scares me."  
  
"Fear of intimacy." he says, snapping his head up.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Fear of intimacy! Harley told me about this! It's a psychoanalitical term that means you're scared of getting emotionally close to people. It comes in lotsa forms, but I guess I didn't recognise it in you cause we present it differently." Now it's the Joker's turn to silence himself, biting his lip, and inhaling sharply. "Fuck."  
  
"Wait, so how does that work? You're so open and flirty. How are you scared?"  
  
"Well. It's complicated, but...essentially you're only half right. I'm flirty, but I'm not open. I say lotsa things, but not in a genuine way. If I were being honest, I'd be a lot more softspoken, at least when it comes to relationships."  
  
"You seem to have yourself pretty well figured out."  
  
"Plenty of quacks come in and outta Arkham, but some ducks are smarter than the rest of the flock. You learn to tell the difference so you can pick out some wisdom."  
   
They walk in silence for a few blocks, before Batman cuts in.  
  
"So you don't actually like me?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You said all that flirty stuff was fake, so I just thought you weren't-"  
  
"No! I really like you. A lot. Too much, really. I just play a character when I express it so there's a layer of protection. Like a feelings condom."  
  
"Hahaha, what?!"  
  
"Ergh. Okay, bad analogy, but hear me out. The feelings condom comes in many forms. Some are ultra-thin. Those are for people who are almost comfortable with being vulnerable. Later on in the relationship they might take them off. Let themselves be open to anything it brings. Sure, they might get into a few situations, but they could also become more attached to that person.  
  
"Then there's my feelings condom. All ribbed and whatnot, so you think I'm more exciting than I am. The rest of me is like that, but my feelings in a relationship are way more understated. I still feel just as passionate, but I'm scared to show it honestly, lest I be rejected.  
  
"Your one seems pretty standard, but it has a bit more thickness to it. I don't know what would be under it cause I'm not as inside your mind as I like to make you think I am."  
  
"I don't think I know what's under mine either," the Bat said quietly. "Shit, now you've got me using your analogy!"  
   
"Indeed."  
  
They walk into the park, a thick cloud of tension floating between them. Each of them hope a gust of wind will come blow it away, but it stays. Suddenly a red breasted bird takes off, soaring over Batman's head. Sidestepping it by instinct, his hand bumps into Joker's.  
  
"Sorry!" He moves away for a moment, but then an idea strikes him.  
  
Taking the shorter man's hand he allows himself to relax, to feel the way his hand clutches gently back.

"Baby steps," he whispers to himself. Looking over to his date, he sees him blushing furiously.

"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, I just... really appreciate it. That was a big step."  
  
Cracking a wry smile, he gets another idea.  
  
"You're never supposed to double bag it, you know."  
  
The clown's laughter rang naturally and clearly in the crisp winter air, and the Bat knew he'd been right.

**Author's Note:**

> The condom bit was unplanned, as are most things in my writing process, but it works I guess?
> 
> Edit: fixed a typo and a missed word. I literally finished writing this at 1 in the morning, so I hope you can forgive my oversights.


End file.
